Mindful and Thankful: How Can I Be Mindful for the Holidays?

I can hardly believe it myself, but it’s already November! That means the holidays are upon us, which can bring up mixed feelings for most people.

On one hand, the holidays may be a joyous time. You may see family you haven’t seen in a long time, eat delicious food, and watch your children glow with joy. On the other hand, seeing family you haven’t seen in a long time can bring up conflict and painful feelings. The chaos of the holiday season can interrupt your regular routine, your shopping list is growing by the minute, and it may be hard to maintain your self-care practices.

But the holidays can also be a time to practice gratitude for the gifts you have in your life. With a little bit of mindfulness, you can make sure you don’t get lost in the holiday chaos and pause to appreciate what the season brings.

Here are 6 tips for how you can stay mindful during the holidays.

Be present with your feelings

First, it’s important to practice mindfulness of emotion. The holidays can bring up a lot of different feelings, and some of them may be painful. Instead of pushing uncomfortable feelings away (or getting too attached to the pleasant feelings), learn how to simply stay present with them.

When a strong emotion comes up, be curious about it. Silently tell yourself, “I am feeling a lot of anxiety.” (or anger, excitement, loneliness, or whatever else is coming up for you). What is it trying to tell you? What is causing this emotion to come up at this moment, and does the situation require a solution?

Remember that feelings are just feelings -- they’re always temporary, and they can’t do you any harm. Simply sit with these feelings, and breathe through the painful ones.

Be mindful about spending

One of the most stressful parts of the holidays is how expensive they can get. On top of holiday gifts, there are big meals to plan. Many people splurge on home decor. There might also be more mundane end-of-year expenses that come up. 

Try to be mindful about money this holiday season. Mindful spending doesn’t have to mean that your kids don’t get any gifts. But before you spend, pause. Take three deep breaths, and get centered. Consider whether you truly need to spend money or if you can do without it. What would happen if you didn’t buy this item? Would the holidays truly be ruined?

Sometimes, the key to curbing your impulses is to simply pause before you act.

Connect with deeper values

The holidays can quickly start feeling superficial and stressful if you’re focused on things that don’t matter to you. This holiday season, try to connect with your deeper values. What parts of the holidays do you enjoy? What would your ideal holiday season be like for you and your family?

Connecting with, and remembering, your deeper values is an important way to stay mindful during the holidays. Any time you feel lost or overwhelmed, reconnect with these deeper values. 

Acting in ways that are aligned with your deeper values will make the season a lot more meaningful. For example, your family might opt to spend some time at church rather than doing last-minute shopping for acquaintances. You might spend the last of your budget on a donation in your family’s name rather than buying one last gift.

Find quiet moments

In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s important to find some time for yourself. It may not be realistic to have entire days “off” of your family holiday duties -- but try to find even short moments in which you can practice grounding and relaxation.

For example, can you wake up 2 to 5 minutes earlier than the rest of your family to practice guided mindfulness meditation? Can you listen to relaxing music while you shower, and truly enjoy the warm water? Can you take a few mindful breaths in your car after you park before entering your home?

Finding these tiny pockets of time for peace for yourself can make a huge difference.

Practice (intentional) gratitude

Research shows that intentionally practicing gratitude has many benefits for our overall well-being and life satisfaction. Practicing gratitude forces us to be more mindful, because we need to stop and reflect on our lives to be able to feel gratitude.

Many families schedule gratitude into holiday dinners. But you can practice gratitude more regularly than simply stating one thing you’re grateful for at the dinner table.

For example, you could think about starting a gratitude jar with your children during the holiday season. Every day, spend a few moments writing down one thing you’re grateful for on a small piece of paper and place it in a jar. Invite your family members to do the same. At the end of the holiday season (or whenever you need a mood lift), read some of the things that your family has written down.

Involve your kids

Lastly, don’t feel like your goal to be more mindful during the holidays needs to be a solo mission. Kids can benefit greatly from mindfulness, too. You can encourage your kids to practice mindfulness of emotion and relaxation this holiday season. For example, contribute to the gratitude jar together. Practice your family values together -- share moments of spirituality and giving.

In addition, our Ari Meets Her Feelings 30-day Activity Journal can keep your children entertained while, at the same time, helping them to identify and explore different emotions. Through child-friendly activities like puzzles, journaling, and coloring pages, your child can learn how to identify their feelings and express them in healthy ways. It also includes thought-provoking mindfulness exercises that you and your kids can practice together.

The 30-Day Activity Journal accompanies the children’s book, Ari Meets Her Feelings. We recommend using the book and the activity journal in tandem.