Feeling Spooked? 6 Tips for Overcoming Fear and Anxiety

There’s a “fun” type of scary – and then there’s a type of “scary” that’s truly disturbing to most people. Unfortunately, people with anxiety live with these unpleasant fears every day. 

Happy spooky season! So many of us delight in intentionally causing ourselves fear during these months. We watch scary movies, visit haunted corn mazes, and dress up as ghouls and monsters. 

But there’s a “fun” type of scary – and then there’s a type of “scary” that’s truly disturbing to most people. Unfortunately, people with anxiety live with these unpleasant fears every day. 

But as scary as it feels in the moment, there’s one important thing to remember – and that’s that anxiety can’t kill you. It can sometimes feel like it can, but you will always survive anxiety. If anxiety is getting in the way of your day-to-day functioning, then seeing a therapist can help.

And in the meantime, here are 6 tips on how to overcome fear and anxiety.

Confront your fears

It’s natural to be tempted to avoid or block out all feelings of anxiety. Anxiety is scary, painful, and uncomfortable. Most of us would do just about anything to avoid feeling this way.

Avoiding it might work – sometimes. And healthy distraction might actually be an effective coping mechanism for some people with anxiety. But in general, the more you avoid anxiety, the bigger it gets.

This is especially true for fear and anxiety about specific things. Let’s say you have social anxiety; you get very anxious and fearful in certain social situations. If you simply avoid social situations altogether, you never give yourself an opportunity to practice your social skills and challenge your thoughts. And the thought of being social gets scarier and scarier in your mind.

Find safe ways to confront your fears. A therapist can also help using exposure therapy.

Listen, but don’t believe

In a similar vein, don’t ignore your feelings of anxiety when they come up. Understand that anxiety is a sign that your nervous system is trying to protect you from some kind of danger, whether it’s real or perceived. Name the anxiety, and listen to what it’s trying to tell you.

This doesn’t mean that you should believe everything your anxiety has to say. Part of the problem of living with anxiety is that it lies to you. It makes you feel like you’re in danger when you’re not.

So listen to your anxiety, but don’t necessarily believe it. If you see that your anxiety is trying to warn you about something that’s not actually dangerous, then simply name it, thank it, and give it permission to leave. For example, you could say something like, “Thank you, anxiety, for trying to protect me. But I’m not in danger, and I don’t need you right now.”

Soothe your nervous system

We think of anxiety as being “in our heads,” but it’s actually as much of a physical response as it is a mental one. When you have anxiety, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in its stress response. That’s why most people with anxiety feel physical symptoms, like a strongly beating heart or breathing fast and hard.

Luckily, there’s a way to counteract this response and activate your parasympathetic nervous system – and that’s to use your breathing. I know the advice, “Take a deep breath,” is cliche – but hear me out.

When you feel fearful or anxious, your nervous system makes you take shallow breaths. This is a way your body protects you – by taking more breaths, you get more oxygen into your brain to be prepared to fight off any dangers.

But if there’s no real danger for you to fight, then you don’t need this response. Take slow, intentional, deep breaths. This lets your body know that you’re safe – you don’t need fear to protect you.

Work it out

Exercising can help you fight fear, too. Research has shown that getting enough physical activity every day can help you combat anxiety symptoms, on top of other issues like depression.

If you’re not the type of person to go to the gym every day, that’s okay. Find ways to move your body that feel fun and sustainable for you. For example, some of my clients have signed up for an online dance class. Others go for a long walk in the mornings with their dogs.

It doesn’t matter what physical activity you choose, as long as you’re moving.

Pray or Meditate

Spirituality helps many people cope with fear and anxiety. Sometimes, what we fear is out of our control. For example, you might feel afraid that an elderly loved one will die, or that your city will get hit with a bad storm.

In these scenarios, sometimes the best way to cope is through prayer or meditation. There are some Bible verses for fear and anxiety that I like to use. One of my favorites is Psalm 46:1-3: 

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” 

Meditation can also help. Meditation can mean different things to different people. But it always helps to connect to the present moment and remember what’s really important to you.

Ride the wave

Lastly, sometimes it can be helpful to simply remember that anxiety is temporary. Like I said in the beginning, anxiety can’t kill you. If you feel like it’s going to, it may be best to simply wait it out and “ride the wave.” In other words, be patient – don’t react until the feeling of anxiety goes away on its own.

When you ride the wave of anxiety, you don’t drown in it. You accept that you’re in the ocean of emotion, and a turbulent wave is coming. You accept that you’re feeling fearful and anxious. But instead of acting ineffectively or judging yourself for having these feelings, you simply ride it out. You wait until you’ve naturally returned to a place of tranquility, after the wave has passed.

Riding the wave is a technique that’s commonly taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT. A DBT therapist can teach you this technique as well as others.

Do I have anxiety? Quiz

If you’re not sure if you’re facing anxiety or something else, then your first step is to be able to identify and name what you’re going through. If you’ve asked yourself, “How do I know if I have anxiety?” start by taking our free anxiety test.